Falling: Of Risks and Losses

Credit: Jerry X

Based on true life events

The events described herein happened to a bosom friend of mine. It is with his sad commission that I share this story. He believes that by some stroke of good fortune, this story could be a way out of his sadness.

This the story of my beloved friend whom I shall not name to protect his identity.

My friend met this lady at a professional engagement about this time last year. In his words “I caught sight of her when she stood up to introduce herself. She just stood out from the crowd. She was not just beautiful but she spoke intelligently. I knew if I did not get her number, I'd have fallen hand”. He further confided that I served as extra motivation. That he knew that if he let her go, I'd not tolerate any made up stories. While I feel humbled, I must clarify that I do not push my friends to go a-philandering. I just detest sloppiness, timidity and inferiority complex.

So when my friend brought news of his new acquaintance, I was genuinely pleased. Months passed before they got talking on phone, and they progressed from acquaintances to friends. “This your new friend…”, “her name is Ayo” my friend interrupted me. “Does she love the Lord?” I asked. My guy was almost annoyed at my question as though I questioned his faith. He regaled me with tales of how prayerful this Ayo girl was and how she was even a worker at her church. I could sense my friend falling helplessly.

The following months were filled with talks of Ayo. Ayo did this, Ayo said that. Ayo thinks that this is that. My guy would not let me hear about anything else. He even suggested that I'd accompany him to go to Offa and prostrate to her dad when he goes to ask for her hand in marriage. I found it weird that I'd go and lie flat to help someone ask for a wife. I voiced my reservations about such (I won't use the exact adjective here) acts. But I'd do anything for my friend.

One day I asked my guy if he had asked her out. He confessed that he had not but he assured me that he was working on it. He told me he wanted to be sure that they were both on the same page. I raised the issue of taking risks but he said knowledge minimized risks. So I let him be.

The next time we met, my friend was nearly in tears (I saw no tears but I observed evidence that indicated he must have wept beforehand). He told me Ayo was off grid. “She ghosted on me. I don't know why. Her number has not been active for a month” his voice took to a high pitch and then he hid his face apparently ashamed of his unmanly show of weakness. “Have you tried her numbers?” I asked trying to cheer him up. “Both are dead” he replied despondently. “Check Facebook, you might get something”. I rushed to check Facebook for myself, if something untoward happened to her, many sympathisers would litter her walls with condolences I reasoned. Besides, my friend was not in any state to receive bad news. I found her timeline dry, save for a few stories and tagged posts.

“I have good news and bad news” I said. “The good news is that she's alive, the bad news is that we have no way of reaching her”. I explained the worst case scenario to him being that he might have bored the hell out of her and she then decides to block him or change her numbers. I then suggested her sends her a message on fb. If she sees it she and responds fine, if she doesn't fine.

He did as I instructed. Unfortunately, there was no response. I prevented him from taking any further desperate actions. To this day he spends his evenings listening to voice notes she sent him when their thing lasted. It is upon his request that I write this. He thinks she might perchance come across this and reach out to him.

Ayo, your boyfriend is a shadow of himself. He is weeping regularly and is refusing to be comforted (not literally though). He refused all my magnanimous offers to introduce him to some nice sisters I know. Please reach out to him and say something even if it is “Hi, I'm not doing again” I will know how to take it up from there and stage the long planned intervention. Thank you.