Skip to main content

Who did it?

Madam Shola had always been a very friendly woman ever since I knew her - which was like all my life. One of my funniest memories of her was when her humour made its finest appearance.

It was a surprisingly rainy Sunday morning some Decembers ago, and we had just closed from church. My wife and I were dashing to the car hand in hand as it drizzled.
"Mr and Mrs Lovebird", madam Shola called.
I recognized her voice and stopped to say hello to her.
"Good morning ma"
"Sam, look at you! You're glowing" she exclaimed, turning to my wife she added "Mercy, you're doing a great job, I give you an A". She said using her right forefinger to make a swoosh in the air. We all laughed.

First of all, my name is not Sam neither is it Samuel. Madam Shola had never called me by my name. Never. I'd gotten tired of correcting her and never bothered anymore.

Sighting mercy's protruding belly she opened her mouth in mock surprise.
"I see what you did here, Sam"
"It's not me, it's all the Lord's doing" I replied
Madam Shola rolled her eyes at me
"Our saviour has been born already, you better own up to your..."
"OK ok, mummy Sholz, I'm about to be a dad" I cut her short.
"My boy is about to be a daddy, praise God!" She announced to the parking lot.

It was quite embarrassing and hilarious at the same time, and that is why Madam Shola is one of my favorite people.

This is entirely fiction. Like totally fiction, all resemblance to real people alive or dead is coincidence.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

God's grace, subway surfers: what's the connection?

I was in church yesterday for Bible study and it was so awesome I had to share. We studied God's grace which in Greek is Charis. Let me digress. I am a big fan of the game subway surfers and I have a score of about 255k to show for the countless hours I have put into the game. When I first launched the game a friend told me his highest score was about 80k, he further told me that he'd seen folks with scores in millions. My ultimate goal then became having a score of at least 300k. It seemed like a tall order. However with time I realised that there were boosts (like surfboards, score boosters, magnets and power ups) and aids to help me achieve my goal. The more I ran, the more boosts I gathered,  the easier the game became and the higher my scores climbed. Now this post ain't entirely about subway surfers. Its also about God's grace. God's grace to us can be defined as the unmerited favor and support God bequeathed upon us. Titus 2:11,12 I paraphrase: The grace
5 comments
Read more

The Small Nigeria in my Classroom

Happy Democracy Day fellow Nigerian democrat. I wish you a prosperous day! I believe there is a micro Nigerian society in my class here in school. This got me thinking about the similarity between the Nigerian Political space and my class, I will attempt to highlight these similarities as honestly as possible without sentiments just as I have observed them. These are just honest observations devoid of any malice. Okay? First of all, let's go tribal. My classroom is divided into these major groups; there are the Yoruba speakers, Nupe speakers, Hausa speakers and the English speakers. Yoruba speakers are those people who speak Yoruba most (they may not even be Yoruba). Nupe speakers are mostly Niger state indigenes, they are quite few but are the next largest identifiable group in terms of cohesion amongst members. Hausa speaking folks are a loose band of people who feel more at ease using Hausa as a Lingua Franca than English. English speakers don't really use any other langua
4 comments
Read more

Falling: Of Risks and Losses

Credit: Jerry X Based on true life events The events described herein happened to a bosom friend of mine. It is with his sad commission that I share this story. He believes that by some stroke of good fortune, this story could be a way out of his sadness. This the story of my beloved friend whom I shall not name to protect his identity. My friend met this lady at a professional engagement about this time last year. In his words “I caught sight of her when she stood up to introduce herself. She just stood out from the crowd. She was not just beautiful but she spoke intelligently. I knew if I did not get her number, I'd have fallen hand”. He further confided that I served as extra motivation. That he knew that if he let her go, I'd not tolerate any made up stories. While I feel humbled, I must clarify that I do not push my friends to go a-philandering. I just detest sloppiness, timidity and inferiority complex. So when my friend brought news of his new acqu
3 comments
Read more