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Why 'Baby' is Not an Appropriate Appellation of Endearment: A Treatise

Editor's note: Due to popular demand, this treatise is being republished. This is to reach a wider audience with the unique wisdom of Bro. I G.


Why 'Baby' is Not an Appropriate Appellation of Endearment: A Treatise
By

[your favorite]
Bro. Immanuel G

My first treatise was on women eating men's money. I can say it was well received. I was inundated with calls, texts and emails from worried bachelors who had also been suffering from eating disorders wherein women ate their money instead of them. I shall address that issue with solutions after I conclude further research.

I have observed that several grown people are in the habit of calling their loved ones "baby"/"babe" and other infantile derivatives. I too was once a partaker of such tomfoolery-shamefully. Having seen the light, I have decided to take my time to write this treatise to open the eyes of the ignorant many.

It is a retrogressive term is a to use for an adult

Why do you get offended when someone says you are behaving like a baby? Then ask yourself why you should be pleased when someone calls you a baby. If logic triumphs when you ask yourself the aforementioned questions, you'll agree with me that baby is a retrogressive term and should not be worn like a badge of honour.

It is impersonation of real babies

Think of it. How would you feel when you are a baby and a grown ass person (probably your mum or dad) keeps answering to your unique identifier as an infant? Good, then stop calling your husband or wife baby and confusing the poor child. Babies being innocent could assume that they are contemporaries with their parents.

Your baby will call you baby too

Your child's first words will be "baby", and he'll use it to address you. See evidence attached.
Photo Credit: Twitter/@TTimecuh


Post Script
I know that several people will be angry with me. The truth usually receives such reactions. Some people will now go ahead to call me 'baby'. For such people I leave you with this saying: "Truth is an iron horse that does not weary".

PPS:
Stay tuned for my next treatise tentatively titled "My Ovaries".

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