Skip to main content

Honest Conversations

"Always have someone who'll have your back. Don't play life monkey post."
Immanuel Galadima

This is like a sequel to my last post. In the previous post I wrote about not taking on life alone. Today I'm just going to share with you on the need to have people who'll have your back and call you out when necessary.

If your friends can not tell you when you are going wrong then you might have to reevaluate yourself or the friendship. Sometimes we get on with our pursuit of life and we become so engrossed that we lose sight of things that truly matter or worse we begin to lose our souls.

We just have a pair of eyes and unlike chameleons don't have a 360° view of life. This means sometimes we lose track of the weighty stuff. So do we mope and get sad? No, we borrow a pair. The good thing about friendships is that we don't need to go and borrow an extra pair of eyes, we sometimes get the pair unsolicited.

I had always thought I was an all round good guy until my friend 'accused' me of being insensitive. I was taken aback, but seeing things from her POV, I quickly began to reevaluate how I showed empathy.

It is important we always create safe spaces (free from backlash) where we can have honest conversations and get feedback about ourselves. In the larger society, one of the safest spaces should be the church. We try to do this at our Teens Church back at home, where kids can feel free to talk about stuff and give feedback on their lives. I digress.

So here are the main points:

1. Always give room for feedback. It could come subtly so keep your mind open, it could be unsolicited or you can actually ask for it.

2. Keep an open mind. Some feedback may be very far from "You're the sweetest guy". Be ready for bitter truths. However "The wounds from a lover are worth it" (Proverbs 27:6a)

3. Evaluate feedback, some stuff people tell you about your actions may indicate something deeper than what they say. While some feedback may be totally wrong. Also, beware of undue praise.

4. Don't keep malice when people tell you hard truths.

I leave you with the words of Konata Smalls fka K-Nuff of Rhema Soul from the Song Blow Your Whistle.

"So if you catch me acting all extreme,
Blow my whistle in person or text me, but let's keep it moving.
I am as imperfect as you and as injured as the dude that's labeled "the king of the Jews"

Ps Monkey Post is a form of 5-a-side soccer in which there are no goalkeepers.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

God's grace, subway surfers: what's the connection?

I was in church yesterday for Bible study and it was so awesome I had to share. We studied God's grace which in Greek is Charis. Let me digress. I am a big fan of the game subway surfers and I have a score of about 255k to show for the countless hours I have put into the game. When I first launched the game a friend told me his highest score was about 80k, he further told me that he'd seen folks with scores in millions. My ultimate goal then became having a score of at least 300k. It seemed like a tall order. However with time I realised that there were boosts (like surfboards, score boosters, magnets and power ups) and aids to help me achieve my goal. The more I ran, the more boosts I gathered,  the easier the game became and the higher my scores climbed. Now this post ain't entirely about subway surfers. Its also about God's grace. God's grace to us can be defined as the unmerited favor and support God bequeathed upon us. Titus 2:11,12 I paraphrase: The grace
5 comments
Read more

The Small Nigeria in my Classroom

Happy Democracy Day fellow Nigerian democrat. I wish you a prosperous day! I believe there is a micro Nigerian society in my class here in school. This got me thinking about the similarity between the Nigerian Political space and my class, I will attempt to highlight these similarities as honestly as possible without sentiments just as I have observed them. These are just honest observations devoid of any malice. Okay? First of all, let's go tribal. My classroom is divided into these major groups; there are the Yoruba speakers, Nupe speakers, Hausa speakers and the English speakers. Yoruba speakers are those people who speak Yoruba most (they may not even be Yoruba). Nupe speakers are mostly Niger state indigenes, they are quite few but are the next largest identifiable group in terms of cohesion amongst members. Hausa speaking folks are a loose band of people who feel more at ease using Hausa as a Lingua Franca than English. English speakers don't really use any other langua
4 comments
Read more

Falling: Of Risks and Losses

Credit: Jerry X Based on true life events The events described herein happened to a bosom friend of mine. It is with his sad commission that I share this story. He believes that by some stroke of good fortune, this story could be a way out of his sadness. This the story of my beloved friend whom I shall not name to protect his identity. My friend met this lady at a professional engagement about this time last year. In his words “I caught sight of her when she stood up to introduce herself. She just stood out from the crowd. She was not just beautiful but she spoke intelligently. I knew if I did not get her number, I'd have fallen hand”. He further confided that I served as extra motivation. That he knew that if he let her go, I'd not tolerate any made up stories. While I feel humbled, I must clarify that I do not push my friends to go a-philandering. I just detest sloppiness, timidity and inferiority complex. So when my friend brought news of his new acqu
3 comments
Read more