Skip to main content

Mystery Man

Mystery_Dan

A lot of crazy stuff goes down in this world.  Sometimes we get the opportunity to witness some of it first hand, it's a real crazy world. Sometimes I find it incredible when I reminisce on some of the things that I have experienced. In everything, I have learnt that the degree of predictability of a person's mind is equal to the degree of unpredictability (does this even make sense?). Pardon me I am just trying to sound philosophical, to give my story a grand entrance.

My name is Sam, I am an undergraduate at the Federal University of Technology. I am that guy you see everyday in class but hardly talk too (especially if you are a lady), I usually keep to myself not because I am a snub but because I enjoy being with myself and no, I dont think less of others-never! Despite the fact that I am sitting on the top of the brainy guy pyramid in my class, I do not despise anyone. I am not a brokers too, I live comfortably in my flat off camp and I've got an AC ( that has too count as something abi?). I believe at this point you can conclude rightly that it's a geeky story you are about to read. I am studying Cyber Security. I eat code.

Believe it or not this is a love story and a love story has -you guessed right- two major players. In this tale, Sarah plays that second major role. Sarah is my course mate. The girl fine die, she was tall and pretty plus she was brainy. Sarah had brown eyes that sparkled and she had a smiled that could set a man's heart aglow.

Unfortunately, Sarah had never smiled at me. We were not on speaking terms, we were never on speaking terms. Sarah and I had never spoken (I don't remember any conversation). I began having feelings for Sarah. It began to appear to me that Sarah was really pretty. I once saw her patiently assist some oldie at the ATM, and my admiration for her grew wings and soared. I had always thought my inability to talk to Sarah was because we had large classes and opportunities to relate were scarce, I was wrong. When we advanced and our classes got less and less populated, I still found it hard to speak to Sarah. I couldn't even say hi. I was the classic Ju guy.

I came up with a plan to get her online. I came up with a handle "Mystery_Dan"., of course as you will guess there were several digits attached to the handle. I wanted to use Mystery_Sam but Sam was a give away. So I went ahead and followed and got followed. I had all sorts of people on my TL, most of them strangers, a bulk of them Sarah's friends. From what I saw on twitter Sarah was a cool witty chick, she had a sick (in a good way) humour,  and was polite and friendly. So on the day Mystery_Dan clocked a month on Twitter I followed Sarah and tweeted at her.
"@sparklingruby346 hi follow back"
That was how it all kicked off. A witty remark, some mild humorous sarcasm there and Sarah took note of me. One day I mentioned something about our school and she tweeted back.
"@Mystery_Dan you school at Mx?"
"Yes, what about you? "

That was me feigning ignorance. We got pretty close after that incident, we even exchanged numbers. I shot texts at her regularly, she responded in kind ferociously. Soon we were spending time on the phone sharing jokes and laughing at stupid stuff. I had told her my name was Dan, and I was studying Mathematics which was in the other campus. It was a classic case of being close on the Internet and being so far apart in real life. The song Awkward by Social Club ft Abiv described us perfectly.

I felt Sarah was beginning to have feelings for me. She called me regularly and was suggesting we met. The noose was tightening around my throat. I asked Sarah one day "Do you know any Samuel in your department? " She said she did, and asked if we were brothers. I said yes, he was my younger brother. I then asked how did he act in class and she was like
"That guy? He keeps to himself. He is almost proud, don't tell him oh".
I assured her that her opinions were safe, and I will not tell sam (me) what she told me (dan).
How ironic!

The next day Sarah saw me in class, she smiled and said hi, I was flustered. The next week she bumped into me at the canteen cornered me into a conversation. The next hour we were on the phone.
"Your brother is not bad oh"
"You like him?" I sharply asked.
"He talks just like you, and he's cute"
"Sure naw, we are brothers"
"If you're not careful he will snatch your girl friend"
I laughed with pleasure when Sarah said that. When I asked "which girlfriend?"

She laughed and cut the call.

After two weeks of dilly dallying and intense pestering from Sarah to meet up. I finally agreed to meet up. We set a date ten days ahead. Those days were the most miserable of my life. I am a gentle guy and the last thing I wanted was to hurt someone I loved. After consultation and deep thought I decided to call Sarah and tell her every thing.

I think courage is secreted by either the pancreas or the liver, I put my pancreas and liver on overtime duties, picked up my phone and held down 2. I had Sarah on speed dial, we were that close.
"Shey our hangout still stands ba?" That was Sarah, and I could hear her smile.
"Yes, but it depends on you. I don't know. There is something you should know"

Little by little the grand deception that was Mystery_Dan was bared open. Sarah just listened silently. Her silence was potent, when I was done she calmly asked me never to call her again and dropped the phone leaving my credit burning. I sent her a long letter asking for a second chance. Pffft for where? Sarah didn't even send. Thankfully it was exam period, the exams kept us apart and kept my mind from insanity.

Then the blockage began, first it was twitter then my phone number was next. It was a hell of a time. This part of the story is cliché. Long story short, when all else failed, I got a new sim and sent her a text.
"Sorry for my wrongs. Can we initiate a clean slate protocol? Alright,  hangout spot at 3pm on Saturday".

Saturday came and I dressed up and went to the restaurant that was our rendezvous point. I arrived just on time, but she didn't show up. I decided to pass time chronicling what transpired between Sarah and I. I was engrossed tapping on my phone when I heard
"Hey mystery dan, , sorry mystery sam, pardon me mystery man".

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

God's grace, subway surfers: what's the connection?

I was in church yesterday for Bible study and it was so awesome I had to share. We studied God's grace which in Greek is Charis. Let me digress. I am a big fan of the game subway surfers and I have a score of about 255k to show for the countless hours I have put into the game. When I first launched the game a friend told me his highest score was about 80k, he further told me that he'd seen folks with scores in millions. My ultimate goal then became having a score of at least 300k. It seemed like a tall order. However with time I realised that there were boosts (like surfboards, score boosters, magnets and power ups) and aids to help me achieve my goal. The more I ran, the more boosts I gathered,  the easier the game became and the higher my scores climbed. Now this post ain't entirely about subway surfers. Its also about God's grace. God's grace to us can be defined as the unmerited favor and support God bequeathed upon us. Titus 2:11,12 I paraphrase: The grace

The Small Nigeria in my Classroom

Happy Democracy Day fellow Nigerian democrat. I wish you a prosperous day! I believe there is a micro Nigerian society in my class here in school. This got me thinking about the similarity between the Nigerian Political space and my class, I will attempt to highlight these similarities as honestly as possible without sentiments just as I have observed them. These are just honest observations devoid of any malice. Okay? First of all, let's go tribal. My classroom is divided into these major groups; there are the Yoruba speakers, Nupe speakers, Hausa speakers and the English speakers. Yoruba speakers are those people who speak Yoruba most (they may not even be Yoruba). Nupe speakers are mostly Niger state indigenes, they are quite few but are the next largest identifiable group in terms of cohesion amongst members. Hausa speaking folks are a loose band of people who feel more at ease using Hausa as a Lingua Franca than English. English speakers don't really use any other langua

Falling: Of Risks and Losses

Credit: Jerry X Based on true life events The events described herein happened to a bosom friend of mine. It is with his sad commission that I share this story. He believes that by some stroke of good fortune, this story could be a way out of his sadness. This the story of my beloved friend whom I shall not name to protect his identity. My friend met this lady at a professional engagement about this time last year. In his words “I caught sight of her when she stood up to introduce herself. She just stood out from the crowd. She was not just beautiful but she spoke intelligently. I knew if I did not get her number, I'd have fallen hand”. He further confided that I served as extra motivation. That he knew that if he let her go, I'd not tolerate any made up stories. While I feel humbled, I must clarify that I do not push my friends to go a-philandering. I just detest sloppiness, timidity and inferiority complex. So when my friend brought news of his new acqu