The Small Nigeria in my Classroom

Happy Democracy Day fellow Nigerian democrat. I wish you a prosperous day!

I believe there is a micro Nigerian society in my class here in school. This got me thinking about the similarity between the Nigerian Political space and my class, I will attempt to highlight these similarities as honestly as possible without sentiments just as I have observed them. These are just honest observations devoid of any malice. Okay?

First of all, let's go tribal. My classroom is divided into these major groups; there are the Yoruba speakers, Nupe speakers, Hausa speakers and the English speakers. Yoruba speakers are those people who speak Yoruba most (they may not even be Yoruba). Nupe speakers are mostly Niger state indigenes, they are quite few but are the next largest identifiable group in terms of cohesion amongst members. Hausa speaking folks are a loose band of people who feel more at ease using Hausa as a Lingua Franca than English. English speakers don't really use any other language to communicate except English or Nigerian Street English. Most of them know other languages but prefer English.  The first two groups are the largest and to an extent the most influential, I remember back then there were complains that the Yoruba bloc was dominating the class culturally and politically. Now in Nigerian National life there are three major blocs - I think they are now four- the 'Core' North, Middle belt, West, South South/East. Back then too there were complaints that Northerners were dominating Nigeria.

Thankfully unlike in Nigeria, our class is not divided along religious fault lines.

In my class we have a Presidential system of government, just like Nigeria. The Head of Government called the Class Rep has sweeping executive powers, just like in Nigeria. The class rep and his assistant are the typical Nigerian leaders. They have highly autocratic tendencies especially when left unchecked, they are also very prone to believing they know what is best for the class or that they are wiser than their followers. They hardly take advice; it goes through one ear and flies through the other. They only listen to the oligarchs and elders and the threats of the radicals.

The next set of folks we have are the oligarchs. These are the hands behind the throne of class leadership. These fellows know whats up even before the stuff happens, they are deeply connected. These dudes move in silence and do not make noise, they are the friends of the king hence they have a lot of privileges other members of the class do not have. These are the guys who year after year are appointed by the class leadership as group leaders and committee leaders. These guys remind me of the retired Generals who control the affairs of the nation from hilltop mansions and farmhouses.

There are also The Elders, wait I am not describing an age group. I mean we have a group of people who are set apart and called Elders, and yes it's because they are elderly. They are to advise and guide the class and go to beg lecturers on our behalf or make demands for us. They are supposedly the voice of reason and rationality in our deliberations. Nigeria just like my class has several elders. We have the Northern Elders Forum, Borno Elders, Niger Delta Elders who make demands for their people etc.

There is also this dude who believes it should always be either his way or bust, no one can tell him he is wrong. He does not have regard for classroom authority, he is a worthy ally and a terrible foe. He has no Nigerian equivalent except maybe his future self. May God help us.

We also have the progressives and conservatives in my class. The conservatives believe in TSquares and tracing paper while the progressives are fierce adherents of the autoCAD philosophy. Now, amongst the progressives there is always little infighting and disagreements. Some progressives when their ideas are not subscribed to will not touch the project under consideration even with a 12foot pole. Some progressives on the other hand do not take correction in good faith. They will never admit being wrong. Most progressives are very young while the conservatives are quite older.

There are also the radicals and activists. These guys are non conformists and will never hesitate to speak against perceived injustice or call out a wrong doer. They also promise fire and brimstone regularly, especially if they deem a particular action by any section of the class as injurious to their interest. They do whatever pleases them and do not care whose ox is gored. These are like the ethnic warlords we have in the Nigerian context. They also remind me of a certain ex Niger Delta Warlord.

Finally we have the non patriots, these people have little interest in what goes on in class. They are more interested in being Writers, Politicians, or Socialites. They just show up to class less frequently than others, and are not really interested in being Urban Planners. When they come to class during design sessions they just supervise, keep us company and go. These guys are like the millions of the apolitical persons out there who have no iota of interest for what goes on in their nation.

Note: Female participation in running the affairs of the classroom society is rare and whenever it occurs it is due to affirmative action. Just as it often happens in motherland Nigeria.

I believe I have done the categorization properly. I will love to hear from my classmates especially those with opposing viewpoints.

Please don't ask which group I belong to, I am the impartial judge. Hahaha

PS: If you think any paragraph describes you, I probably had you in mind when I wrote it.

Pardon my poor writing. I have been tapping on this screen for over two hours, it is 5am.