My Middle/Upper Class Dreams

Oh my, I didn’t mention it did I? Well, am currently at Abuja at some government facility doing some top secret activity. It’s a 6 month stint. That’s all am cleared to say about my new job. That explains my little absence from my blog.

Being in Abuja has afforded me the chance to observe many things, the ways and manners of the growing Nigerian middle class being at the heart of it. My job entails hobnobbing with the rich, high and mighty. The Nigerian middle class society is growing, think of the people brandishing Apples (not the fruit), blackberries (not the fruit again), the folks that mill in and out of shoprite.  Most of the members of this small army of Bentley riding and Camry driving folks are those who were hardworking and lucky enough to be at the right places at proper time when wealth was created.

For a rural dude like me, it’s very easy to spot out a Middle/upper classer, just as easy as it is for them to spot me out. At my residential base, despite my deep cover a little girl kept gawking my way. Okay, by their habits you shall know them. If Horlicks (not Milo/Bournvita) is what Junior takes for breakfast that’s a good sign, if they have more than two rides at home, or they live in a plush neighbourhood and don’t commute to work, if their teenage daughters are dressing scantier and scantier as a result of global warming, congratulations you have spotted middle/upper classers.

You know, there are a lot of pretenders and wannabes so here are extra fool proof signs in detecting true middle/upper classers. Are their kids overweight? If they are, you can’t be wrong. Shey the kids can’t speak any other language but English? Plus the American accent? Well if you were nodding as you read , then you are right.

Now all these noise for what?  Well to say the truth I have every intention and have made detailed plans to join this class of the society, I admire this class of people; especially those who started with nothing, these ones are not many though, a lot of people in this class run on money stolen from our public treasuries.

As a potential member of this class, I have made some observations for members of this class of the society, and wannabes like me; Firstly, giving your children the things that you never had as a kid will either make them worse or better than you (depending on what you give them). Secondly, raising Nigerian kids in a non-Nigerian manner helps no one in the long run; the Nigerian grounding we receive as children makes us responsible adults. Thirdly, watching your Kid get obese and think it’s a sign of the good life is folly, it’s a disaster in the nearest future for you and your kid. Finally, spanking a kid when he or she goes wrong has more often than not put a child on the path to being a responsible citizen.

So in case you have dreams of joining the middle/upper class, work hard and don’t forget to give me an invite when celebration time comes.