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The Crazy To-Do list.

Here is a Crazy To-Do list my friends and I compiled. Most of them are low risk, try them out and give me feedback.

1. Talk About The super Eagles To the next driver at a red light
Recently, I was in a taxi in Garki Abuja (that was the day Nigeria was drawn against Ethiopia in the world cup knock out qualifiers). Our taxi driver, a boisterous happy man wasn’t satisfied with the dry company we the sullen passengers provided (I was the most sullen). So he did it. At the next red light he looked to the next driver and began.
“Oga them don fix us with Ethiopia oh, sha I believe with God’s help we go win them”
The stupefied look on the other driver’s face was priceless. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.
When next I drive, I will try this out, only that I’ll break the latest news in Sub atomic Physics to the driver beside me.
I’ll be like “Bros did you hear that a new subatomic particle has been discovered? Do you know what this means for science?!!!” Then I will go ahead to throw words like Hadron Collider, Higgs Boson and Sub-Atomic in the convo even though I don’t know what they really really mean and then wait to see the priceless reaction from the other driver.


2. Dance across Hallways
This is something that has always appealed to me. One of my friends Tanko does it. I have always desired to do it, am just yet to settle on whether I should moonwalk or shuffle along the corridors. Such activities really take pressure off you and ease stress. I wish to see our Director shuffling too. What a happy world it would be. Another dance style under consideration is the Gangnam style gallop dance style. If am crazy enough I may discreetly tape the epic event for your pleasure.

3. Asking a friend a really Technical question in a subject he is ignorant in / Seriously asking a stupid question
I hope to try this one, but the issue is that my drama skills are so poor. Anyway, the idea is to present an issue that your subject has zero idea on especially after joking around and discussing ‘normal’ issues. For instance if you are a Biochemist, you can abruptly ask your friend “do you believe the Deoxyribonucleic Acid holds the key to understanding the secrets of any living organism?” make sure you  use ‘big grammar’. To avoid sounding like a braggart ask questions only in your field of study. :-D
My favourite way doing of this is via instant messaging, chat platforms like whatsapp or facebook.
Another way of going about this is the classical style of sounding very serious and popping a very silly question after building a lot of suspense. This works on girls almost all the time depending on who you are. It’s cliché but it works.

4. Singing or On-the-spot song composition
Some moments are just too epic to let go without properly commemorating them. Say for instance such epic events occur in your presence and you lack commemoration ideas, here is one: you can burst into a song or for the bards you could render a poem. Song choices should not be a problem you could compose one at the spur of the moment. However if you have creativity issues, here is a template that fits to nearly every situation.
This is the tale of captain Jack Sparrow
A Pirate so brave on the seven sea
A mystical quest on the Isle of Tortuga
Raven locks sway
On the ocean’s breeze

P.S That’s just the template, feel free to tweak it to fit the epic event or person you want to chronicle.
P.S 2 The song is to be sung to the tune of the Pirates Of The Caribbean soundtrack. If you don’t know the tune am talking about, just recite the verse above like a poem. It will still work

5. Cross the road 2 times when it is clear
You know how traffic can be such an evil force, you need to cross a busy street and the cars and motorbikes seem to never finish. In some cases you have wait up to five minutes to get a chance to cross a street (Especially if there are no traffic lights or wardens). So what do you do when you are blessed with a deserted street on a Monday morning? Will you just walk across and pursue your business? Hell no! My friend Elijah believes such moments should be maximally utilized. His advice: “cross the street like two or three times”. I totally share his sentiments with the whole of my heart.

6. Uncle me!!
For those of us still in University, when the ASUU strike is over and lectures continue give this a try. When a lecturer asks a question in class and you earnestly want to answer but many other hands are up, here is how to kill the competition. Simply wave your hands excitedly and say
“Uncle me, uncle me!!”
That’s all.
For lack of space and time here are some crazy things that will receive Honourable mention:
Bungee jumping, Sky diving, Surfing and Motor Rally racing. All these are extreme sports that I fancy but I’ve seen no one do in Nigeria. When they berth in Nigeria I may enlist.


Debby suggested something crazy also; scream “I love you” when you see a fine girl (Especially when you are sure you’ll not see her again). Let me gist you guys something. I was on an Okada far away from my house, and I saw this fine girl on an Okada right ahead. As luck will have it, my bike man sped and slowly overtook them;  I decided this was my chance to turn and shout “I love you!!!!!!” and let my voice fade as I say it, exactly how they do it in Indian films. As my opportunity presented itself, being a bad actor, I just laughed in mischief as I faced the girl, and my bike man sped away saving me from further mischief. As I disembarked from the Okada and walked home, another Okada dropped off a passenger far behind. Guess who lives in the street behind mine? Fine girl from the okada!

Mischief is a puppy that follows you home.

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