Skip to main content

Who did it?

Madam Shola had always been a very friendly woman ever since I knew her - which was like all my life. One of my funniest memories of her was when her humour made its finest appearance.

It was a surprisingly rainy Sunday morning some Decembers ago, and we had just closed from church. My wife and I were dashing to the car hand in hand as it drizzled.
"Mr and Mrs Lovebird", madam Shola called.
I recognized her voice and stopped to say hello to her.
"Good morning ma"
"Sam, look at you! You're glowing" she exclaimed, turning to my wife she added "Mercy, you're doing a great job, I give you an A". She said using her right forefinger to make a swoosh in the air. We all laughed.

First of all, my name is not Sam neither is it Samuel. Madam Shola had never called me by my name. Never. I'd gotten tired of correcting her and never bothered anymore.

Sighting mercy's protruding belly she opened her mouth in mock surprise.
"I see what you did here, Sam"
"It's not me, it's all the Lord's doing" I replied
Madam Shola rolled her eyes at me
"Our saviour has been born already, you better own up to your..."
"OK ok, mummy Sholz, I'm about to be a dad" I cut her short.
"My boy is about to be a daddy, praise God!" She announced to the parking lot.

It was quite embarrassing and hilarious at the same time, and that is why Madam Shola is one of my favorite people.

This is entirely fiction. Like totally fiction, all resemblance to real people alive or dead is coincidence.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Nigerian banks: So much hype, so little groundwork.

This events chronicled herein truly occurred as the world spun past this morning. Today I took it upon myself to pay up all individuals and groups I was indebted to. This involved visiting three big time Nigerian banks. These transactions which could have simply been carried out with my PC, had to be done the old school way because online transactions are not common (no one I know has ever used the system), hence it could n''t be trusted. Aside the long queues and the ages it took to get served, these banks are are quite in contrast with what you'd see in the slick adverts on CNN or NTA (Nigerian Banks do ads on CNN). The staff are not that friendly, and you can waste a lot of productive time just waiting for your turn ( I kill time watching TV whenever I visit a bank) In one of the Banks I visited, (this bank boasts of ''Pan- African ess'' ) the bulk room where I went to pay in money was desecrated with graffiti on the side boards. Yes! Graffiti, scr...

I Did Not Choose This

I did not choose this life This life chose me The work I do now, I do not think I am qualified in any way to do. Perhaps however I underestimate myself (something I do a lot). That I am here now means I have to remain and give my best to it. I do not despair and feel sad that I am a teacher, far from it. Many people may feel ashamed if they were in my shoes, a few other "extra sensitive" people feel ashamed on my behalf and pray I get a more rewarding job. Please, what is more rewarding than seeing a bunch of tiny tots gobbling up every word you spit out? I'm not saying it in a disgusting way. I just mean teaching is a rewarding experience and I don't regret it. I feel it is like a process that is required of me before I'm admitted into the next phase of life. Which perhaps may be parenthood. My experiences as a teacher have taught me patience, perseverance, love and how to accept feedback via non traditional channels. I've learned to repeat something over...

Falling: Of Risks and Losses

Credit: Jerry X Based on true life events The events described herein happened to a bosom friend of mine. It is with his sad commission that I share this story. He believes that by some stroke of good fortune, this story could be a way out of his sadness. This the story of my beloved friend whom I shall not name to protect his identity. My friend met this lady at a professional engagement about this time last year. In his words “I caught sight of her when she stood up to introduce herself. She just stood out from the crowd. She was not just beautiful but she spoke intelligently. I knew if I did not get her number, I'd have fallen hand”. He further confided that I served as extra motivation. That he knew that if he let her go, I'd not tolerate any made up stories. While I feel humbled, I must clarify that I do not push my friends to go a-philandering. I just detest sloppiness, timidity and inferiority complex. So when my friend brought news of his new acqu...