I Hit My Coconut Head ( The Nigerian Dream)

Some hours past midnight as I slept, rolled off my bed and landed with a thud on the cold tile floor. I hit my coconut head on the floor, I could tell that from coconut sound the impact my cranium made as it hit the floor, and of course there’s the pain that was so real. I just scrambled back to bed in the dark, thankful that today was a public holiday. I nursed headaches and wild dreams all through as I slept.

 I woke up late in the morning, the headache was gone but then my room in some vague way looked different. Looking out the window, I discovered I was on the 4^th or 5^th floor of a condo somewhere in Abuja. From my window I could see little children all dressed in green shirts waving little Nigerian flags as they marched through the streets.

Didn’t President Goodluck say today’s Independence celebration will be low key?

 Whatever was going on outside down below was big, there was fanfare and confetti all about the street.

I get dressed and go down to the street. The streets are crowded and navigation is difficult. I ask one lady what was happening and she asks me which hole I crawled out from. I told her I heard the President on TV say this year’s independence celebration will be low key, she asks me if I am the President’s son. Nigerians, answering questions with questions, I shake my head and walk away. The next person I meet tells me there is an Independence Day parade at the Eagles Square and he is on his way there. The roads are closed. I decide to tag along.

“How will we get there” I ask

 “How else but the subway”? He replies

I am suspicious but I tell him we can go. His name is Femi, he is from Kebbi state, he is a pursuing a doctorate in Astrophysics at Federal University Technology Minna, he looks 25. I really doubt much of what he is saying; I have never heard of Astrophysics at FUT Mx, Subways in Abuja, nor his claim of a Nigerian space programme, so I ask him if he really knows what a subway system looks like. He laughs and says I will see. He even says all rides are free today all I will need is my ID card to get a ride.

I was not with my ID card so he pointed at the station and I went back to my apartment to get my Identification. I put on the TV as I searched, then I saw an older version of myself explaining why I didn’t accept a second term as president of Nigeria, despite popular demand. So I was president? The ‘me’ on TV said he resigned because he wanted to be a big part in the lives of his daughters. Seriously, who does that? Lame excuse.

This must be a dream

I switch off the TV and collapse on my bed. I put on the radio, shut my eyes and attempt to clear my mind

Abuja. Sub way. Independence Day

I let my mind drift to what the presenter is talking about, reasons why we must celebrate this year’s Independence Day. The unemployment rate was at about 8 Percent, the economy was bubbling thanks to the Abuja Olympics that was held the previous year, our status as a permanent member of the UN Security council, continuous the emergence of University of Ibadan and ABU Zaria in the top ten African Universities, the presenter went on and on.

I open my eyes and look at my phone for a time check; it is 4:37pm Thursday 1^st October 2037. I go black with sleep.

I open my eyes again, it is morning. I had nursed headaches and wild dreams all through the night. I must have hit my hit my coconut head as I slept. No wonder it was all surreal.




Hope you Enjoyed the story above? Talking about writing stories, my friends Chizoba and Manasseh entered for the Etisalat flash fiction contest. kindly read their entries and vote them. Vote Chizoba. Vote Manasseh. Thanks a lot.