Honest Conversations

"Always have someone who'll have your back. Don't play life monkey post."
Immanuel Galadima

This is like a sequel to my last post. In the previous post I wrote about not taking on life alone. Today I'm just going to share with you on the need to have people who'll have your back and call you out when necessary.

If your friends can not tell you when you are going wrong then you might have to reevaluate yourself or the friendship. Sometimes we get on with our pursuit of life and we become so engrossed that we lose sight of things that truly matter or worse we begin to lose our souls.

We just have a pair of eyes and unlike chameleons don't have a 360° view of life. This means sometimes we lose track of the weighty stuff. So do we mope and get sad? No, we borrow a pair. The good thing about friendships is that we don't need to go and borrow an extra pair of eyes, we sometimes get the pair unsolicited.

I had always thought I was an all round good guy until my friend 'accused' me of being insensitive. I was taken aback, but seeing things from her POV, I quickly began to reevaluate how I showed empathy.

It is important we always create safe spaces (free from backlash) where we can have honest conversations and get feedback about ourselves. In the larger society, one of the safest spaces should be the church. We try to do this at our Teens Church back at home, where kids can feel free to talk about stuff and give feedback on their lives. I digress.

So here are the main points:

1. Always give room for feedback. It could come subtly so keep your mind open, it could be unsolicited or you can actually ask for it.

2. Keep an open mind. Some feedback may be very far from "You're the sweetest guy". Be ready for bitter truths. However "The wounds from a lover are worth it" (Proverbs 27:6a)

3. Evaluate feedback, some stuff people tell you about your actions may indicate something deeper than what they say. While some feedback may be totally wrong. Also, beware of undue praise.

4. Don't keep malice when people tell you hard truths.

I leave you with the words of Konata Smalls fka K-Nuff of Rhema Soul from the Song Blow Your Whistle.

"So if you catch me acting all extreme,
Blow my whistle in person or text me, but let's keep it moving.
I am as imperfect as you and as injured as the dude that's labeled "the king of the Jews"

Ps Monkey Post is a form of 5-a-side soccer in which there are no goalkeepers.